we're sending an SOS to the world.

dinig sana kita.

confrontation, too.

Oo, nakita ko na siya. Ang totoo nyan, nag-usap pa kami. Ngayon, mas naiintindihan ko na kung bakit patay na patay ka sa kanya. Sa isang libo’t isang paraan o maaaring hight pa riyan, hindi ko kayang makipagkumpetensiya sa kanya. Antaas niya. Mataas na mataas.

Kaya pala gabi-gabi, hindi ka mapakali hangga’t hindi mo nasisiguradong nakauwi na siya o nakakain na ng hapunan. Anlaki siguro ng ngiti mo kapag kasama siya ‘no? Mahilig ba siya sa mga mamahaling restaurant o sa tabi-tabi lang tulad mo? Ayaw din ba niyang magbasa ng Twilight books tulad mo? Antalino siguro ng mga balitaktakan ninyo. Huwag na, ayokong sumabay kapag nagdinner kayo, baka malunod lang ako.

Sabay din ba kayong nanonood ng anime? Sabi mo, mahilig kayong mamirata ng dvd at manood ng pelikula na gustung-gusto niyong dini-deconstruct pagkatapos. Alam mo bang sa pelikula din umiikot ang buhay ko? Kahit papaano, nakakapagsulat din ako pero mas gusto mong mabasa yung mga sinusulat niya. Hinding-hindi ako magiging kasinggaling niya, sigurado.

Ano nga uli yung album na pinakinggan niyo habang nakahiga kayo sa madamong bahagi ng Sunken Garden bago bumagyo nung isang buwan? Hindi ba’t mas romantiko kapag nagpapatugtog siya ng cello habang nakikinig kang nakatingin sa langit, naghahangad na sana lagi kayong magkasama. Uy, pinapangarap ko ring makasama ka sa Sunken kaya lang busy ka palagi. Oo naman, alam ko namang uunahin mong gawin kung anuman ang gusto niya.

Hindi mo nga pala naikwento sa akin kung binigyan ka na niya ng surprise pero umabsent ka isang Lunes nung malaman mong naospital siya dahil sa sakit sa tiyan at nagulat siya paggising na puno na ng puting rosas ang kwarto niya. Minsan isang hatinggabi, sinundo mo siya sa isang inuman kung saan siya naglasing dahil namatay ang kanyang mini pincher dahil sa katandaan. Answerte naman niya. Lagi kang nandiyan para sa kanya. Sana ganyan ka rin sa akin pero mas pinili kong huwag nang sabihin sa ‘yo.

Pero ngayong sinabi ko na sa’yo, wag kang mag-alala dahan-dahan ko nang ilalayo ang sarili ko. Pero kahit noon pa, hindi ba’t andito lang ako, laging malayo sa’yo? O, wag ka nang malungkot. Ayokong nakikita kang ganyan. Anlayo ko pero tanaw kita habang tinititigan siya. Hay. Katulad din kita. Nagmamahal ng taong nagmamahal ng iba. Answerte niya, kahit ano gagawin mo para sa kanya kahit alam mong ang patutunguhan nun ay sa wala. Swerte mo nga, andito ako para pakinggan ka.

Sana kahit papano, lumingon ka rin sa akin habang nakatingin sa kanya. Katulad ng ginagawa ko
sa’yo ngayon.

- charliebebs gohetia

cinematique.

the dreamers.

she said, he said.

Do you still love me?

Paranoia eats me.

Darkness scares me.

Coldness sends shivers to my spine.

I feel alone, unloved, and unwanted.

Where's your promise?

Where's my sun?

Why can't I feel your love and warmth.

I am longing for your touch, for your kiss, and for your hug

Iam craving for your presence.

I miss you. I love you.

I will always love you.

Don't think that way.

Darkness won't scare you.

Coldness won't send shivers to your spine.

Don't feel alone, unloved, and unwanted.

So long as my promise is in your heart,

trust your shine will shine once more,

eventually you'll feel my warmth again.

My touch, my kisses, and my hugs

will always be yours no matter what.

I miss you more. I love you forever.

bumabagyo.

I am missing the sun.

Raindrops makes me sad, it reminds me of the tears that I've cried.

Coldness makes me shiver, it reminds me of being alone.

Darkness makes me scared, it reminds me of the fear that I might lose you.

Where's the Golden Sun?

Where's my Sunshine?

Where are you? I am missing you badly.

sadista.masokista

ika'y nakahandunsay sa sahig.
tumatangis.
nananaghoy.
duguan.

habang ako'y nakaupo sa sulok.
nanginginig.
nakatitig.
may hawak na patalim.

uulit ka pa ba?
subukan mo akong saktan ulit.
hindi lang isang saksak ang abutin mo.
putang ina ka.


badtrip ka.

valium.

Heto na naman ako, nagising mula sa napakagandang panaginip.
Panaginip kung saan kasama ka, malaya, at napakasaya.
Panaginip kung saan tangan-tangan ko ang iyong mga kamay.
Nakakahilo. Nakakalito.

Hindi na ako natuto, muli, ito'y inakala kong totoo.
Ayoko ko ng bumalik sa realidad.
Ayoko ko ng gumising.
Nais kong matulog muli, upang balikan ang ating nakaraan.

"...kung ang kaniyang pagmamahal ay sa panaginip ko la mang madarama.
Nais kong ma-overdose sa sleeping pills at valium,
upang ako'y muli niyang mahalin at makasama
kahit ako'y hndi na gumising pa..."

MONEY isn't everything...

...but MONEY is something.

cineplex.

Ang paligid ay nababalutan ng dilim, at tanging mumunting liwanag na nanggagaling sa pinilakang tabing ang nagsisilbing ilaw.

Nakakabingi ang katahimikan.

Sa gitna ng payapang pagkakataon, isang malalim na bugtong hininga ang puma-ibabaw.

Parehong magkalapit at nakamasdan sa malayo na para bang nakatulala at may naglalaro sa malikhaing isipan.

Unti-unti, ang mga mga palad ay nagtagpo, at tuluyang naging isa.

Ang init ng palad ang nagsilbing hudyat sa pagdaloy ng natutulog na dugo, mula talampakan hanggang sa mga namimintog na pisngi.

Pawang kagalakan ang naramdaman, hindi inakalang ito'y pagbibigyan ng panahon at pagkakataon.

Sa maikling sandali, nadarama ko ang bawat pag pintig ng iyong puso, ang bawat pagsigaw nito, na ang tanging ibinubulong ay ang pangalan ko.

Sa maikling pagkakataong iyon, nahawakan ko ang puso mo, at ako'y minamahal mo.

Nais kong malusaw, sa tuwing magtatagpo ang aking paningin at iyong mapupungay na mata, sa tuwing sisilip ang iyong mapuputing ngipin sa iyong mapupulang labi.


Nasi kitang hagkan, nais kong mapasa-iyo, at ninanais kong ika'y mapasaakin.



Isang nakakabulag na liwanag ang sumalubong sa aking mukha.
Mainit.
Nakakasilaw.



Panaginip.



Nakakapanlinlang na panaginip.
Panaginip na punong-puno ng paghihintay at pag-asa.



Ako'y muling bumalik sa realidad.
Bumangon.
At patuloy na umaasang ito ay mapagbibigyan ng pagkakataon.

callboy.

Call Center - Cambio

"Sa trabahong 'to, ang pag-ihi lang ang pahinga."

Queuing, EOP, kudos, avail, Avaya, toggle, AHT, CSAT, Plantronics - these are few of the common terms people use in this industry. If you know almost all of these jargons, more-often-than not, you're one of us: the contemporary callboys and callgirls of the Republic of the Philippines, who works from dusk till dawn, or commonly known as the well-compensated, narcoleptic, low-brainer, caffeine-addict, sleep-deprived, English-language-savvy-people of the Call Center Industry.

Most feeble minded people would say that this job is easy, all you need to do is to seat, answer the phone, pretend to be someone overseas who's knowledgeable with the product and/or service that the company offer, have a great American or neutral accent, encode few information on the computer, and then viola! You have a well-compensated profession. It's sad, but it's true, these are the usual connotations of people with our night job.

I was a graduate of BS Psychology in one the prestigious universities in Manila, and not to mention, I graduated with honors (I am not lifting my own chair or anything, but I am pointing out something) but I choose to be one of "these people" - the call center people who pretends to be "mayaman" or a "conyo" even if they're not, who goes to Starbucks or Coffee Bean every single day to show-off, who says "wuh-shing-ten" instead of Washington while paying on the bus. I said to myself back then, for now I will swallow my pride, I'll pretend not to be hurt when they ask "bakit nag-call center ka lang?" that this job is temporary, that I'll soon resign once I have a new job in the Human Resources or any other field that is related to my course. But here I am, still working in the call center, still licking the asses of those foreigners overseas who shouts, curses, makes you feel that you're less of a person, and discriminates you by your race, nationality, or you thick Filipino accent, and yet ironically, I am currently celebrating my 18th month in the four-corners of an Avaya-filled-building of S***S.

In my 18 months of stay, I realized tons of things.

1. Call Centers have diverse culture. Here, you'll meet different type of people - introvert, extrovert, gay, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, nerds, geeks, emos, athletes, artists, closet-queens, power-tripper, smart, home-wreckers, yuppies, working students, single parents, and what-have-you.

2. Call Centers are like rolling stores. Almost everything and anything are being sold, and all items are being paid in an installment basis, at least 2-gives, otherwise, your business won't work.

3. Usual Call Center agents are graduates of prestigious universities in Manila. Some agents are professionals, yet they choose to be an agent. Here, there are registered Nurses, Medical Technologists, Teachers, CPAs, Engineers, and what-not.

***BLOG DISCONTINUED****

While writing this entry, I encountered a blog which caught my attention. It was an article published in the Philippine Daily inquirer entitled "KOLGIRL" by Pamela, a Call Center Agent

‘Kolgirl’
By Pamela
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 01:13:00 01/08/2009

If you are familiar with the terms “QA,” “Queuing,” “EOP,” “ACW,” “AHT,” “avail,” then you are one of us, the thousands of “kolboys” and “kolgirls” in the Philippines.

We belong to the sleep-deprived, nicotine-inhaling, cab-riding new breed of Filipino youth. We infuse our anemic, caffeinated veins with ferrous sulfate every day so that we won’t be “NCNS” (no call, no show) for our next shift. “Ginagawa naming araw ang gabi.” [We make the night our day.]

Glamorous? Well, if your idea of glamour is staggering down Ortigas Avenue wearing Paris Hilton shades at 8 in the morning, looking dog-tired while everybody else looks fresh and new, then we are the kings and queens of glamour.

Bohemian? Ha ha! We follow a very rigid schedule. We cannot go on extended breaks. We cannot hang up on cursing customers. We cannot refuse to take calls. And we have to ask for permission to answer nature’s call. We are like prisoners in our stations for eight whole hours. Ours is a Spartan life.

I cannot help but be catty and melodramatic about it. We say, “Good morning” when we all know that everybody but us (at least in this part of the Pacific) is in his deepest sleep. We say (with an audible smile), “I’d be glad to assist you,” never mind if we had to leave a feverish son under the care of his “yaya” [nanny].

We can afford to miss family occasions and national holidays because we know we will be well compensated. Every birthday of a family member that we miss means we have P700 more to pay the bills, rent and tuition. The added pay for every national holiday that we worked helps pay our taxes. Yes, my friends, we are paying for the street lights along the avenues and highways that we must brave every night.

Contented cats we are not. “Laway lang ang puhunan” [Saliva is our only capital], we some people say, but we are in one of the most stressful and draining jobs you can find. And like the rest of the working class, we are overworked and underpaid.

We are forced to defend big banks, superstores, telecoms or any account we are handling. Just like any member of the proletariat, we are alienated from the giants that we work for. We apologize for things that we do not have anything to do with. We fix problems we did not create. We are the cheap, apologetic and docile answering machines at the other end of the line, the receiving end of the frustrations and ire of customers who feel shortchanged.

Apolitical? I have to disagree. We are tax-paying citizens like most working Filipinos. Yes, most of us get the latest news from Inquirer Libre (while riding the Metro Rail Transit on our way to work), but we are also appalled by the P500,000 “cash gift” congressmen got to kill the Arroyo impeachment complaint last year. We are also furious with this government for spending half of the national budget on debt servicing so that it can borrow some more. And we are enraged that some people cheated their way to high offices.

We may speak in English for more than half of our waking hours, but it doesn’t make us less Filipinos. We share the sentiments and burdens of every landless farmer, every laid-off factory worker, every out-of-school youth, every hungry Filipino mouth. We find time to mourn slain activists, priests, journalists and innocent civilians. Most importantly, we share the aspirations of the Filipino people to build a just society where we can say, “I’d be glad to assist you,” and actually mean it.

*Pamela, 28, is a single mother who works as a call center agent, a job that pays her enough to splurge on mango shakes, banana cues, rambutan fruits and Marlboro reds. She has a generous health card that takes care of her brain scans, EEG and MRI, paid for by her call center company, which she thinks is the source of her migraine and headaches.

"...I would rather be underemployed yet overpaid than being employed yet underpaid. Your whole month's salary is just my 10-day pay..."

- PAM

laughtrip.

Here we go again. Another copied post from a friend's site. =)

Mga Panalong Banat nila MANONG GUARD. =P

1. Chi - One time in Eastwood City there was a rock concert. A couple of teenagers in punk outfits were stopped by the guard. He told them, "Bawal kayu ditu mga julugs!"

2. Jam - One time I asked a guard, "Manong may toilet ba dito sa first floor?" He said, "Meron." When I asked, "Saan po?" He answered, "Sa taas."

3. Evilinsyd - Once pingilan ako ng guard sa office dahil hinahanap daw ako ni "pete soliban". So napatigil ako dahil wala akong kilalang ganun. Yun pala si "Faith Sullivan".

4. Jose de vengenge - I asked the guard where the lab room was. He said: "Nakikita mo yang corner na yan sa kaliwa? Kumanan ka dyan." I asked, "Nandun yun lab?" He answered: "Hindi, may isa pang guard dun. Sa kanya mo itanong."

5. SPY Shadow - There was this 'matrona' who got mad at the hotel security guard. Kasi, he thoroughly frisked all the people entering the establishment except the old lady. So the 'matrona' said "Unfair ka! Hindi ko naman sinabi sa 'yo na ayaw ko'ng magpakapkap ah!"

6. Raez - Slogan of the army: "no guts, no gl0ry"; the police: "no pain, no gain"; the navy: "no retreat, no surrender"; the guards: "no ID, no entry".

7. StarSky - I was at the MRT station, and the guard asked me what's in my case. I opened my poker set and she said, "Ano yan, bingo?" I said, "Hindi po, poker po." The guard next to her asked what it was, and she said, "Bingo."

8. SC - One time we asked a guard where the nearest McDo was. He gave us instructions, but when we followed them, wala naman. We went back to the guard and told him his directions were wrong, and all he said was, "Bago lang ako dito."

9. Empog - Once it was raining and once I got to school, I slipped and hit my head on the floor. There I was, flat on the floor, with my head bleeding, and the guard who saw everything, asked me, "Nadulas ka?"

10. Miming - Back in my elementary days, one of the guards reported us to his superior because we did something bad. He said over the walkie-talkie, "Sir, binutas ng mga Gamma Alpha Gamma Oscar ang mga gulong ng 3 kotse." So my friend blurted out, "Boss, yung mga Gamma Alpha Gamma Omega na tinutukoy mo, ay marunong din mag Sierra Papa Echo Lima Lima!"

11. Starbuko - When I was in grade 1, my sundo forgot to fetch me. After waiting for hours and being the only elementary student left in the school, the guard gave me 10 pesos from his own money and helped me get a tricycle to ride home.

12. Jose de vengenge - One time while the guard was frisking me, I joked: "Manong, ang taba naman ng batuta niyo saka ang haba." The guard answered: "Oo naman…kaya lang maitim."

13. Kalabasa Extreme - When I was in high school, I was openly gay on campus. But I became "straight" in college. One day, I toured my college tropa to our high school, and when one of my guard friends saw me, he shouted, "Hoy bakla, kumusta ka na? Ang dami mong kasamang papa ha!"

15. Judgedave - We play pranks on our guard who has a thick accent. I know, bad kami. But we get a kick hearing him announce on the loudspeakers, "Peejing, Rizal…Hoosi…"

16. Surao - One day a security guard caught 2 employees having sex in the office pantry. Guard: "Aha! Violation of company rules!" Guy: "Anong rule?" Guard: "Uhm…not wearing uniform?"

17. No name - One time as I was logging out, I absentmindedly blurted out, "Ang bilis ng oras…" The guard answered, "Mabilis talaga, kasi ang oras, tumatakbo."

18. Jose de vengenge - One time a friend got distracted by the handsome guard's bulge. So as she rolled down the car window, the guard noticed she had so many bags in the back. Guard: "O ma'am, saan po lakad natin?" Friend: "Ah wala, magbabakatyon lang."

19. Ynaki - My friend and I were momentarily held and questioned while we were entering a building in Dubai because the security guard's metal detector kept on beeping everytime he frisked us, even after all the metal on us were taken off. The culprit, believe it or not ,was the metal piercing on my friend's thingy. Ayun, nakita tuloy ng mga Arabo kung gaano kalaki yung 'ano' niya!

20. Dang - My friend needed to enter a building but the guard refused her entry. So she said, "Sige na manong, sandali lang ako, PROMISE!" The guard said, "Ma'am, alam naman nating lahat na, PROMISES are made to be broken…"

21. His Airness - I'm a building administrator, so I routinely interview guards for posting. One time, I asked a guard during an interview: "What are your strengths and weaknesses?" The guard replied, " I'm a very strong person, but I am weak when I'm in love."

updates.

I was just browsing my blogspot site, then I realized one thing - oh CRAP! My previous posts are just not-well-pondered and copied-from-a-different-site-then-paste-it-to-my-own-site entries.

I'm busy, for crying out loud! =P
So let's patch things up and let me give you an update.

There are tons of things happened for the past 2 weeks, so I'll just give you a condensed version. =)

1. I had a break-up. Yeah, you've heard it right, a BREAK-UP. And guess what? you're right again, I was committed, BEFORE, I said I WAS. I think few people know it. REASON? just childish-thing-turned-to-a-major-fight-thing, like being JEALOUS to my BEST FRIEND, I won't mention my best friend's name, It'll just complicate things.

2. I have a new crush. Finally, I saw someone who's pretty at the office. I never had a chance to converse with her, but we usually stare at each other's eyes. =P Her looks is very simple, but the thing that caught my attention is her attitude, she's not the typical-friendly-looking-always-smiling-chick, she's always been tagged as 'suplada' and 'maldita'. HMMMM... I smell challenge. =)

3. I'm planning to RESIGN, again. I think this would be the nth time. I'm really not happy with the load of my work, I hate the schedule, and I hate those people in the higher management. There are few reasons why I can't leave. First, of course is the F**CKING RECESSION, almost all companies including multinational companies are on FREEZE HIRING. Secondly, few fellows, my immediate supervisor, colleagues and friends - AJ, Laureen, Che, Vhio, Jay, and Magie, I am very much happy with them. And lastly, there's an opening for a higher position, and I'm undecided yet, if I'll be filing an application or not.

4. I was in-love. After the break-up, this person came along unexpectedly. But I was in-love only for 12 hours, I don't know if that exists, but all I know is I was high with love in 12 hours, from 4am - 4pm. We text, we call each other, we went out, we had ... Again, all of it just happened in half a day. =) After which, texting is less, phone calls are less, and my love... became less-to-none as well. It was SAD, because it only lasted for 12 hours. 'SAYANG! gusto ko pa naman yung taong yun.'

5. I had great experience. After that quickie love, during my rest day, I had 'inuman sessions' with my old friends including few common friends. I met someone, a PARAMORE-ish looking person, rockstar-emo-like. She has wits, talents (VERY 'TALENTED'), beauty, sense, and voice. Also, she has a TONGUE-PIERCING, which caught my attention. I really had a great time with her, and I'm not yet sure if I can see her again. I might see her over the weekend.

6. I know someone else's secret. I was browsing few personal belongings of this person, accidentally; I saw something that's very ... uhm, what's the word? 'basta I can't tell, it's very sensitive.

6. I have new books as well. I recently bought them, I won't tell the titles and the authors. Let me finish reading it. I'll lend it to you afterwards. Promise.

***these are few of my updates.
geeez... I am tired and sleepy.
ciao for now. =P

taya.

Updharma Down

napaka-Kakaiba. =)

para sa masa.

THE E-HEADS CROWD

a night of nostalgia

a night of pure fun.
a night of original pinoy music.
a night of celebration and unity.
a night of wooohs, and ahhhhhs.
and a night of undisputed talents and wits.

thanks ely, raymond, buddy, and marcus.
thank you e-heads.
thanks for giving me the best pre-teenage days of my life through your music.

never again

***got this from ykai... =) walang magawa e... super bored.

Put your player on shuffle and hit the 'Next' button to get your answer to every question. You must indicate the title and artist, no matter how far-fetched it sounds. Tag people who might be interested in doing this same thing. No cheating.


WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
linger - cranberries

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
fall for you - shanice (naks! sweet)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
shoulda, woulda, coulda - beverly knight

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
bizarre love triangle - frente

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
misery business - paramore (ayun naman!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
im not missing you - stacie orrico (haha! may ganon?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
glamorous - fergie

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
your song - ewan mcgregor, moulin rouge ost (when i grow up, i want to be your song)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
anything for you - nina

WHAT SONG WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
clair de lune - ? (wow! twilight!? parang mas gusto ko ang canon)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
PS i love you - nelie mckay

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
mad - neyo (ayun...)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
stolen - dashboard confessionals (haha! klepto si pota)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
all the love in the world - corrs

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
if i never get to heaven - javier (ayan, wag ka kasi magnakaw!)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
underneath it all - no doubt (feeling ko may dadagan sa akin)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
leavin' - jesse mccartney (...)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
rise - samantha james (feeling ko dapat to RICE)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
boogie wonderland - earth, wind, and fire (haha!)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
insomnia - DJ Tiesto

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
power of two - indigo girls

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
i dont love you - my chemical romance

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
never again - kelly clarkson

kudos!

to our new DOCTORS. =)

sana huwag kayong pumunta sa ibang bansa... o kaya naman ay mag nursing. =)

congrats sa kapatid ko... =)

naks! pwede ng kumuha ng professional fee. =P

nagbabadya.

"ang sexy naman ng profile pic...hahaha. =)

ngayon ko na lang ulit nabuksan itong multiply, at friendster pala... pagbukas ko ng page mo, narinig ko yung strobelight. mga ganyang tugtog namimiss ko sa yo e. and the indie movies. hay, sana pwede pa tayo ulit magkita.

ingats ka lagi ha! text me na lang. i still use the same globe (0917*******) and smart (0919*******) numbers. ***********************? =)"






***someone from the past msg me at multi, at ito ang sabi...
***hmmm... ano kaya ang ibig sabihin nito... =P

sweet. =)

"...gusto mo bang sumayaw?"

"huh? hindi kasi ako marunong sumayaw e..."

"...okey lang yun, ako din naman e, hindi marunong."

"e bakit gusto mong sumayaw...?"

"...e kasi, ikaw yung kasayaw ko."

im not the easiest person to love.

...I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth...