life is like a pack of chocnuts...

...you'll never know if it's durog or not.

secret.lovers

Secret lovers, that's what we are.

There's no formality, no monthsaries or anniversaries, there is neither commitment nor exclusivity, and there are no other definition of relationship other than friendship.

It's almost been 3 long years since the first time I met you. Back then, we were just strangers, staring at each others eyes. Now, you're not just a stranger who sees me superficially, but a close friend that i love dearly, who knows me inside and out.

We've shared tons of moments, moments that you usually see with close friends. But sometimes we've cross the thin line between friendship and intimate relationship: we go on dates, I go to your school, we watch movies, we do karaoke, we do telebabad till the wee hours of morning, we text each other, we missed each other, we carry each others bags, I go to your place, or what-not.

We both know that there's something between us. Something that not everyone could explain, not even the shrewdest man on the planet. Something that our hearts could only tell and could only feel, there's an invisible chord that binds us that is primarily made of love, care, and friendship.

Love grows.

And now, I am very much afraid. Any moment, my vulnerability will soon eat me, sooner or later, I'll snap. I hate to admit it, but I am falling. Though, I know you might be falling, I see it every time we're together, every time i look into your eyes, and every time I hold you in my arms.

Still, I am afraid, afraid of being rejected. I am so scared that I might lose you in the end. What if these are just delusions? And that these are just stupid hunches that you might be falling.

I know, I am the guy, and I should take chances and tell. It's not easy, it happened before, and i don't want to feel that same old crappy feeling.

I may be coward, insensitive, selfish, or what-have-you... But it's HARD.

As the old cliché states, friendship is the root of any intimate relationships. However, more-often-than-not, LOVE kills FRIENDSHIP.

I am torn with this stupid ambiguity: to stay as friends or to take risks, to just give up and let friendship grows or go and chase pavements and have hopes.


We're secret lovers. We love each other so much, but we're doing it secretly.






if i could only tell you my secret...
...that I am madly in love with you.

im not moving...

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not, broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl...
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...

and maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

creative juices...

...where are you now?

i feel so dumb at the moment.
can say many.
cant write any.