secret.lovers

Secret lovers, that's what we are.

There's no formality, no monthsaries or anniversaries, there is neither commitment nor exclusivity, and there are no other definition of relationship other than friendship.

It's almost been 3 long years since the first time I met you. Back then, we were just strangers, staring at each others eyes. Now, you're not just a stranger who sees me superficially, but a close friend that i love dearly, who knows me inside and out.

We've shared tons of moments, moments that you usually see with close friends. But sometimes we've cross the thin line between friendship and intimate relationship: we go on dates, I go to your school, we watch movies, we do karaoke, we do telebabad till the wee hours of morning, we text each other, we missed each other, we carry each others bags, I go to your place, or what-not.

We both know that there's something between us. Something that not everyone could explain, not even the shrewdest man on the planet. Something that our hearts could only tell and could only feel, there's an invisible chord that binds us that is primarily made of love, care, and friendship.

Love grows.

And now, I am very much afraid. Any moment, my vulnerability will soon eat me, sooner or later, I'll snap. I hate to admit it, but I am falling. Though, I know you might be falling, I see it every time we're together, every time i look into your eyes, and every time I hold you in my arms.

Still, I am afraid, afraid of being rejected. I am so scared that I might lose you in the end. What if these are just delusions? And that these are just stupid hunches that you might be falling.

I know, I am the guy, and I should take chances and tell. It's not easy, it happened before, and i don't want to feel that same old crappy feeling.

I may be coward, insensitive, selfish, or what-have-you... But it's HARD.

As the old cliché states, friendship is the root of any intimate relationships. However, more-often-than-not, LOVE kills FRIENDSHIP.

I am torn with this stupid ambiguity: to stay as friends or to take risks, to just give up and let friendship grows or go and chase pavements and have hopes.


We're secret lovers. We love each other so much, but we're doing it secretly.






if i could only tell you my secret...
...that I am madly in love with you.