longlostfriend.

Its been a while since my last "pondered" entry.


I was about to go out tonight, but i switch minds (why?! 'cause i haven't sleep yet, I've been up for almost 24 hrs now.)

Anyway, I received a very odd call just this morning, literally early in the morning, it was around 4am and it was from my long lost friend.

And I don't mind sharing it.


LLF: Are you up?

ME: I am now. why? got problems?

LLF: yeah, im drunk

ME: yeah, you are drunk. ...

ME: so how's it going? what had happened? it's beens ages ago since we've last met and talked.

LFF: yeah it's been ages, can i confide something? (LLF states the prob)

LFF: *crying/sobbing* while saying things over and over again (the real score, bitterness, sweet moments, how many bottles of beers he had, valium, our classmates, and ironically, wedding (to think he's sexual preference is different).


***to cut the story short. LFF got a huge problem with his partner, indulge himself with numerous bottles of vodka and beer, and overdosed on valium (i dont think it was OD, 'cause luckily he's still alive and sane at nakakatawag pa nga diba?)


i talked to him for almost an hour. Thankfully he listened.
LIFEGUARD!







***I am really considering this as a business. I should invest in online and tele-counseling. i think i can make tons of money out of it. Thank yous are great but i need professional fees. Haha!

T'was nice seeing someone recovered from all the hardships and pains. I am so loving the counselor/psychologist mode.

single ladies.

angels and demons

death.bed

Acute Tonsillitis, Pharyngitis (ATP)

This was the reason why i stayed in the four-boring-corners of makati med.

After four long days of boredom, blunt and tasteless food (not to mention the porridge and banana party), pain, teeth-chattering coldness, non-stop syringe poking game, every hour monitoring (blow-by-blow blood pressure and temperature check), guessing game (where's and who's my nurse today), let's get high on different over-the-counter drugs, and say AAAAAHHHHHH!



Finally, I mm FREE!!! I missed home. I missed everyone, my pets, my family, my friends, and ironically my work. I missed my pc and my net so much. =))



I definitely thank God, he answered my prayers that my tonsils were all good, not swell and sore, cause otherwise, i wont be here, and perhaps any minute now I am inside the operating room, and all the doctors are cut-slashing my throat.

turnbacktime

namiss ko lng to...

life is like a pack of chocnuts...

...you'll never know if it's durog or not.

secret.lovers

Secret lovers, that's what we are.

There's no formality, no monthsaries or anniversaries, there is neither commitment nor exclusivity, and there are no other definition of relationship other than friendship.

It's almost been 3 long years since the first time I met you. Back then, we were just strangers, staring at each others eyes. Now, you're not just a stranger who sees me superficially, but a close friend that i love dearly, who knows me inside and out.

We've shared tons of moments, moments that you usually see with close friends. But sometimes we've cross the thin line between friendship and intimate relationship: we go on dates, I go to your school, we watch movies, we do karaoke, we do telebabad till the wee hours of morning, we text each other, we missed each other, we carry each others bags, I go to your place, or what-not.

We both know that there's something between us. Something that not everyone could explain, not even the shrewdest man on the planet. Something that our hearts could only tell and could only feel, there's an invisible chord that binds us that is primarily made of love, care, and friendship.

Love grows.

And now, I am very much afraid. Any moment, my vulnerability will soon eat me, sooner or later, I'll snap. I hate to admit it, but I am falling. Though, I know you might be falling, I see it every time we're together, every time i look into your eyes, and every time I hold you in my arms.

Still, I am afraid, afraid of being rejected. I am so scared that I might lose you in the end. What if these are just delusions? And that these are just stupid hunches that you might be falling.

I know, I am the guy, and I should take chances and tell. It's not easy, it happened before, and i don't want to feel that same old crappy feeling.

I may be coward, insensitive, selfish, or what-have-you... But it's HARD.

As the old cliché states, friendship is the root of any intimate relationships. However, more-often-than-not, LOVE kills FRIENDSHIP.

I am torn with this stupid ambiguity: to stay as friends or to take risks, to just give up and let friendship grows or go and chase pavements and have hopes.


We're secret lovers. We love each other so much, but we're doing it secretly.






if i could only tell you my secret...
...that I am madly in love with you.